Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
