At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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