Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've blown a few things in my day
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
