Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
