no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
