I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
