I wish I could teleport
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am mentally ready for anal.
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