Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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