i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
