He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
