Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
