Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
