I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
