It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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