Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Randomize
