He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
