my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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