my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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