When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
