Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sext me about skeletons
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
