YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
