I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
