Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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