Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca

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  (410): This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca http://tfl.nu/b19s
  Replies (4) Good night (1839) Bad night (657)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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  (404): Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage. http://tfl.nu/ouqc
  Replies (16) Good night (659) Bad night (3987)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.

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  (210): masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know. http://tfl.nu/gdcq
  Replies (32) Good night (700) Bad night (5627)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa

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  (732): You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa http://tfl.nu/fgun
  Replies (13) Good night (3291) Bad night (1151)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.

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  (704): And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun. http://tfl.nu/h28t
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (3859)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.

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  (912): thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit. http://tfl.nu/e0ki
  Replies (12) Good night (1221) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore. 

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  (318): Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.  http://tfl.nu/j2xa
  Replies (4) Good night (1559) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.

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  (760): Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security. http://tfl.nu/lxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1564) Bad night (534)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner

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  (418): You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner http://tfl.nu/wvf5
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull

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  (651): Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull http://tfl.nu/fvhw
  Replies (2) Good night (677) Bad night (1130)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"

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  (262): In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it" http://tfl.nu/19mj
  Replies (6) Good night (647) Bad night (1645)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.

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  (857): Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much. http://tfl.nu/89i4
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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  (262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1
  Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (370)
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  (714): View more from California

  Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.

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  (714): Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth. http://tfl.nu/x54l
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

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  (816): I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants http://tfl.nu/igf3
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (292)

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