Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.

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  (570): Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome. http://tfl.nu/qugg
  Replies (33) Good night (1830) Bad night (3023)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  so let's talk penis.

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  (951): so let's talk penis. http://tfl.nu/oygv
  Replies (16) Good night (4544) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??

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  (905): I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet?? http://tfl.nu/qgms
  Replies (145) Good night (2376) Bad night (8538)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card

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  (267): Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card http://tfl.nu/6r0n
  Replies (2) Good night (3492) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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  (321): she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much. http://tfl.nu/ucje
  Replies (7) Good night (1559) Bad night (5736)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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  (740): I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/4f6m
  Replies (8) Good night (1050) Bad night (2331)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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  (302): in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am http://tfl.nu/qmyh
  Replies (5) Good night (2386) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates

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  (716): he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates http://tfl.nu/tadv
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (2432)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us

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  (785): your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us http://tfl.nu/mks6
  Replies (18) Good night (3992) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4245) Bad night (1402)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever

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  (570): After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever http://tfl.nu/uu6v
  Replies (15) Good night (2690) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.

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  (404): You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control. http://tfl.nu/g1ps
  Replies (9) Good night (1711) Bad night (2502)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

  (1-859): View more from Kentucky

  ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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  (859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite

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  (416): drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite http://tfl.nu/pmot
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.

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  (920): I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it. http://tfl.nu/sqkc
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (225)

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