It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter