I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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