i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
