Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
