Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I lost the right to judge tonight
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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