very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
