do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
