While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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