i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
