I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
