i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
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Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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