no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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