I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
