Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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