Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
