he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
