Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
