Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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