I wish I only lived at night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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