Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
