How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
