So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
