I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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