Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
