we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
