U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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