if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
