is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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