Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
