I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
