put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
