Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
