I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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