This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
