To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
