So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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