Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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