He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize