Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
