I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
