There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
